Fun Visit

Our friends the Riders, who moved to Hays, KS three long years ago, came to visit us this weekend. Well, they came also for the MU Homecoming game and a medical conference, but we monopolized them as much as possible. We invited friends over Friday night to catch up, and otherwise relaxed and let the kids play.

Ethan and their oldest, Sam, have always been great buddies and had tons of fun. Their exploits as Indiana Jones and his sidekick, as well as various super heroes, were great. Sunday after church I followed them along our wooded path and took some fun pictures. They each had a big walking stick and started brewing a "potion" in the stream. Then Ethan broke into a song called Punkin' Stew that they are singing at school. A video clip is on the Flickr site.

Lainey and their youngest, Shane, played also. They did a pretty good job of keeping up with the big guys, and also had their own playacting to do, often featuring Lainey as the Mom.

Kurt got to visit some old colleagues at the medical school, and eat Indian food which is apparently scarce in Hays. He, Bill and Andrew tailgated and went to the game, then afterwards went to play pool at a new place downtown.

Julie and I got to catch up with each other, which is so great since we always have so much to talk about. When they moved back to Hays, which is their hometown, we talked a lot about the battle between moving home to where family is and having some distance and creating your own life in another place. We all four had battled this decision over the years. It was interesting to hear what her experience has been, and a bit of a relief (selfishly speaking) to hear her echo many of my fears about moving back. One item was that a sister who she had been incredibly close with now hasn't spoken to her in 1 1/2 years. Until recently when she got her to talk and a 6 hour conversation ensued about what things one had, whose kids got more attention from other family members, who was a better christian, who was the favorite among shared friends, etc.

Some things are just less hurtful when cushioned by distance. And when guilt or spite rear their ugly heads, distance will create itself in any case. I know some friends who see family who live across town less often than we see family in Nebraska. Apparently it just isn't as simple as all that, like most things. My very wise and wonderful sister-in-law Renda once asked me when I was obsessing about the impossibility of pleasing everyone, "who is most important in your life?" My husband and kids. "OK, so focus on that relationship and your life with them and if that's going well, you don't need to worry."